Near the end of the second month of this year and so far it is still a bazillion times better than the start to last year. And I really like that number, a bazillion, I use it quite often.

Anyway, the new job is going great. I have settled and while I grumble about getting up at 4 am, it is still better than my other job. Which, technically, I am still at. But with another person doing the same job now and having more time than I ever had I do not think it will last much longer. Which is fine with me and will free up my Wednesday thru Friday nights. Bah, also would mean the risk of being called in on weekends would be over. I had to work on Valentines' Day at the job I left behind for my new one. Ew. This work week was a long one. Last night when I went to job number two I sat in the office for two hours staring out the window at the cooks while listening to my MP3 player. Awesome, they forgot about me. Well I did blow up balloons and found fifteen minutes of paperwork but for the most part I was just there. Breathing their air, sitting in their chair and getting paid to do it.

I'm wasting away, my diet is really starting to take a toll on me now. A year of looking by all appearances to be anorexic will do that. The doctor is worried about it too and asked me last visit if I meant to lose it all. Um, hello, my diet? Half a cup of veggies or fruit at a time and three ounces of protein/meat a day will do that. Low carbs only because most carbs are very high in phosphorus or potassium. She seems to think it's more the fault of my thyroid medication. See one of the side effects of treating low thyroid levels is weight loss. My thyroid may be balancing out, next week I go in for blood work to check on it. My anemia is also kicking my butt, I'm getting iron infusions every week for five weeks or until my iron improves. That too will be checked next trip to the lab. Also my potassium and phosphorus levels are elevated. Lord! What am I supposed to eat, then? I'm already eating so little but apparently I'm eating too much of the wrong stuff still. I want to cry at times, I miss eating like a normal person so much. I had a peanut butter jelly sandwich for my birthday earlier this month and I was so excited about it. You would not believe how decadent it tasted… On the other hand my blood pressure levels are more stable now and my medicine has been adjusted to be taken less often and lower doses. That is awesome beyond words.

Things are comfortable and smooth right now, life is normal and going along nicely. I still have my health struggles, obviously, but overall I am happier. Still annoyed about the need to buy new clothes every few months, though. I am now a size smaller than my sister and she is furious and so jealous. She used to love being the only skinny one now I have her beat. But it's going to be a scary skinny at this rate, ouch. Maybe it is time to have the kidney transplant conversation with my doctor…

Had a doctor's appointment today. She mentioned my high potassium levels from the blood work last week. My bad, I have been careless with this new job. I've eaten too many tomato products and granola. Yeah, you heard me. That stuff is bad for me. She said my phosphorus was a little high but still in the safe range. Just need to watch it so I don't have two problems. She said my protein was amazingly low and to keep it there. Nice, that means don't eat much meat. But with my restrictions on fruits, veggies and grains... what the hell do I get to eat?

In the same vein she said my weight loss was starting to worry her. I'm already worried, she is going to have more blood done at the end of this month to see if maybe my thyroid medication is too high and the culprit. Maybe. Or maybe it's the fact I hardly eat? People accuse me of being anorexic. Feh. Been on this diet for a year, dropped about 50 pounds and am still going.

I go in for iron infusions tomorrow. My iron has dropped again, oh god am I so tired and weak. I just want to sleep and try to fall asleep doing everything. Was cleaning windows at work the other day and almost nodded off. I get dizzy too if I move too fast.

I got a Playstation 3 and MP3 player at Circuit City. Sweetness. Playing Devil May Cry 4 and Prince of Persia at the moment. Well not right now, about to file my taxes. Wonder if the hospital crap will be helpful or if I should even bother.

The new job is awesome beyond words. The day does not drag, getting up at 4 am is a big of a drag but can easily be counteracted with an earlier bed time. Getting out of work around 2:30 pm is so sweet. The sun is still up! Man oh man is it nice!

I go in at six am, do prep/setup for an hour. From 7 to 10 we serve breakfast. There is an hour lull in there where only drinks are sold and we do prep for lunch. 11 to 1:45 is lunch, I break at 1:30. Well, no, more like 2 but I stop cashiering at about 1:30.

The line moves so fast now that I know the computer! Bam, bam, bam and they are out. Oh my God is it nice not to have people dump their coin purses and try to count out three dollars in change when they can't tell nickels from quarters or US money from somewhere else. The customers are also a million times nicer. I simply do not understand other co-workers when they talk about how rude some are. Maybe I just haven't found the rude ones but over all they are much better behaved than what I am used to. They are also patient and capable of doing things for themselves. It is so nice not to have to go get them something they can get themselves because unlike the people at Luby's they don't think we are there to slave for them. They show more respect, it is so nice.

On a side note: Damn are there a lot of good looking men! I couldn't believe how many there were. I'm so used to old people and white trash. To actually see normal, clean and well groomed men is a very nice change of pace. I was told the building I was in had a younger crowd and I can see it, there are older men but not the old dust bag type. Also to see women who care for their appearance is nice too. No one smells like…oh lord were the smells at the other job varied. I am so glad to be away from that.

I find the coolest part of the job is meeting people from all over the world. The accents are so cool! I'm diggin' this new job, it is so much easier on me emotionally as well as physically.

Wanna know something funny? My replacement, that I hired before my final full day at Luby's? Yeah, she worked half a day the following day and never came back. They hired two new people and hope to keep at least one at the register, time will tell.

Heh, so I stayed at Luby's to help them with the unit coordinator things. Last week I get a call from my boss at corporate telling me she doesn't want me to be doing this anymore because I don't spend enough time on it. She thought I was still full time, mind you. She had no idea I got another job and dropped to a few hours a week. She says they just need to leave me at the cash register and find someone else who can put the time into it, cashiers aren't good enough for the position.

What a bitch. But you know what, that was fine with me. I originally wanted to quit completely anyway. I am going to train my replacement first then see what my managers decide to do with me. Manager 1 said he was sorry for what the bitch did. So I expect once I get my replacement up and running they'll ask me to leave.

Also on Luby's - Manager 2, the one that didn't know what the hell he was doing, has been moved to another store. AND! The bitch at corporate is getting moved out of our area. Two thorns in my side are gone, if only thorn number three would be moved too it would be the best start to a year EVER. It's been a helluvalot better than last year though, I'm optimistic about the rest of the year.

Yesterday was the last day at the "Lube Job" and it was awesome.

Let's back up a few weeks to before Christmas when I turned in my two weeks notice.

I posted it on the board in the office and was unable to talk to management about it because they tossed me into double duty. They also didn't see it until about an hour or so into the day.

I was refilling glasses at the drink counter when Manager 2 comes up and asks me about my New Years resolution. I tell him I don't make them, never saw the point. His reply is, "Well, what about, say, working at another place?" It dawns on me what he means so I tell him about the offer, interview and everything else. I'm told he'll cover me while I talk to Manager 1.

Back in the office, "Mr. Jones said you wanted to see me?"
"Yeah, what the hell? Close the door!"
We talk about the job, how it will pay more and have perks Luby's would only laugh at the thought of. He makes me an offer to match the pay and give me weekends off. He tries to talk me out of taking the job like others did before. It being in Dell made most people say "They lay off a lot you know." Also apparently the Round Rock campus is up for sale. He ends with telling me to think about it. I had already planned not to take it, I mean a raise only after the threat of me leaving? In may I got the "you deserve a raise" talk, never saw it. Got it again in August, still no raise. But anyway, I agreed to think about it.

A few days later a nosy co-worker finds my hidden notice and he plus the other coworker in the office with me at the time bombard me with questions. They also tell me it's a bad idea to take this job, high school kids! Saying the same thing about layoffs and the campus up for sale as well as stories of people they know who worked there. So now I am having doubts. So I do start to think about it. I come to work the next day expecting word to have gotten out and it hadn't, they kept quiet without anyone having to tell them. I was shocked yet grateful.

Not long after that the district manager is in and corners me about the other job.
"Sarah, what's this crap about you leaving us?" Then he flat out tells me it's bullshit, I ain't leaving. What the hell? I thought he wouldn't care. He's the one saying no one is irreplaceable and to cut back hours, blah blah.

Christmas eve, after we close I let Manager 1 know my answer. I'm taking the job at Dell. But, if he'll have me I'll still do unit coordinator stuff three days a week for three hours each day. Doh. He accepts and says we can work it out after Christmas. I have that day off, come back the day after and he's off. I think it was close to the first I finally got to hammer out that three days thing.

As Jan 2 approaches, more and more people learn slowly. Word didn't spread like I thought it would, everything else spreads like wildfire but not this. One person was talking, though, but no one takes him seriously so they didn't believe it. They thought so little of what he said that word about it never reached me until those he had talked to heard the news from me on Thursday, one day before my last! Some were mad at me, others were sad. Well I won't be the cashier anymore but I will still be around if only a little.

Manager 2 was not aware yesterday was my last day, he had planned for me to train my replacement. His jaw dropped when I said "Today," to the "When's you last day?" question. They hadn't even decided upon an applicant to hire. Well he did, in a hurry too. He picked the first one he interviewed, he was sitting down with her that morning when I came in. At the halfway mark of the day he learned it was my last, called her back and told her to come in for paperwork. Paperwork which I my job to get completed. I hired my replacement. How funny is that? How many people can say they did that? The funniest part was he still had interviews for cashiers later and did them anyway even though we'd already hired that position.

So, really, I started the journal with a misleading statement. It wasn't my last day, just last day as cashier. I'm still there in the off chance Dell isn't as good a move as I want it to be. This way I at least have a job to go back to. I wouldn't have that if I quit, the one who said it was bullshit would see to that. Though, the friend that offered the job to begin with has been there for two years and she's had no problems. No one believes me that this isn't Dell I'm working for, but another company that handles the café for them. I start the new job Monday and won't be doing the three day stint at Luby's until Wednesday through Friday.

I'm eager for this change and maybe if things go well enough I can drop the second job like originally intended.

You know that one Christmas special where they say "every time a bell rings an angel gets his wings", right? Who doesn't know that! I have never seen It's A Wonderful Life but I know the phrase. Well, I'm on a mission today! Let's give some angels much deserved wings! Ring them bells and enjoy your families and friends today!

Merry Christmas folks and keep warm today, or cool if you're in the right climate. May the day bring you smiles and warm fuzzies.

Awesome! I interviewed last Tuesday for that job offer at the Round Rock Dell cafeteria and got the call back today. I got the job! How sweet is that? Instead of $7.75 an hour I will be making $9.00 an hour. I will not have to work holidays and I will be paid for it. My work week is now normal at Monday through Friday.

My two week's notice is going in tomorrow. They will be shocked, I told no one about this job possibility because if I didn't get it then there would be chance of undercurrents with "Well, she tried to leave us but failed so we can get away with more since she has no options." This I did not want and really would not put past a certain person.

All this comes with so many changes the company is making. Just Sunday we were told if we didn't start taking on more duties we were at risk of being let-go since the company only wants "serious" employees. I'm already working two positions, that isn't enough for them!? We are working in a cafeteria slopping food on plates for people! And they pay as little as lawfully possible for most, every position has a wage limit. It irritates me to hire cooks and other positions at more money than I make. Hello, I deal with some very important legal documents and folders, why am I paid so much less? The company doesn't care anymore about turn-over because there are so many people looking for work and holes are easily filled. I've heard the district manager say many times "No one is irreplaceable."

Have fun. Your lead (read: ONLY) cashier and Unit Coordinator just got a better job with benefits. Not just better benefits, benefits PERIOD. The experience that place gave me will come in handy but it's time to move on.

I'll miss the people, true. I've seen a steady decline of regular faces and my co-workers change so fast now. So many customers, ones I enjoyed talking to, have left. All the changes that have been rolling in since May have been culling them, driving more away. And I'm going to sound egotistical in this next part, but so many tell me they're glad to see I'm still around at least with all the changes. When they come in and I'm off or on break they tell me the next time they see me that they worried I had been let go. Most are aware that I'm sick, so every once in a while that worry is over my health rather than job.

I really am leaving now, but not because I was laid-off. I found a better job and leapt at the opportunity. One door closes as another opens, who knows where this one will lead me.

I got a job offer with Dell.

Hold on, wait, it's not that exciting. It is basically what I am already doing but with more money, better hours and benefits people I currently work with only dream about. I'd be cashier in the Dell cafeteria. A former co-worker came to me with the info and I'm turning in an application soon.

Oh how nice it would be to get holidays off and paid for it. No more nightmare Thanksgiving work days. A whole paid week off for Christmas! Eligibility for a week's paid vacation after three months of employment. Take that two years service before you can get a paid vacation at Luby's. And if you vacationed before your paid one came up it reset that two year wait. The hours you work also decides if you get a paid one or not. I took my paid vacation this year but it was extended thanks to my hospital visit. I may have lost next year's vacation because of it. Oh well, this job at Dell would start in January if I can net it.

She said it is so much easier than Luby's, the people are better and the environment is so much lighter and refreshing. I think I can get it easily, my unit coordinator duties might give me an edge. Granted, they have nothing to do with cashiering but the amount of trust and responsibility behind that position will look good on an app and sound awesome in an interview. And I am lead cashier already so the position is nothing new.

Be awesome to move on and get paid more. Must keep fingers crossed.

So the hurricane missed the Austin area. Some models showed it would pound us good after it finished with the coast. Now I'm hearing we won't even see any rain from it. Go figure.

I have friends out in the Houstin area though so I am anxious for news.

Imma box a certain manager around the ears if he doesn't get his act together and stop being a retard. He makes more work for me in his inability to learn the right way to do something, you can be a stubborn mule on other things but when THE LAW is involved fly straight dipshit! I ain't lettin' you take me down too.

That's short for lots of stupid crap but you get the gist of it. I don't feel like going into great detail anyway. I just know my other manager has said he's going send this one off to the next meeting I attend so maybe he learns something.

And because I thought it was too good to pass up, a meme! Wow, I stopped doing these things because I thought they were an extreme waste of time but here's one anyway!

Choose a singer/band/group — answer using ONLY titles of songs by that singer/band/group.

Enigma, we have go!

1) Are you male or female?
Feel Me Heaven

2) Describe yourself.
Incognito

3) What do people feel when they're around you?
Between Mind and Heart

4) How would you describe your previous relationship?
Mea Culpa

5) Describe your current relationship.
Invisible Love

6) Where would you want to be now?
Knocking on Forbidden Doors

7) How do you feel about love?
T.N.T. for the Brain

8) What's your life like?
Dancing with Mephisto

9) What would you ask for if you only had one wish?
Push the Limits

10) Say something wise.
Return to Innocence

Work has always been a place of stress, irritation and aggravation. Sometimes though there's a good deal of laughter and joking around, those are what makes it not suck so much.

Last night at closing my manager was joking around with a coworker, he called him a vato. I asked what that meant cuz I heard it all throughout high school but no one could ever tell me what it meant. He didn't know and he's Mexican. So he asked another coworker who was also Mexican, he didn't know either. Another coworker, this one white, comes up and says "Actually, 'vato' is German. See, it's when you bend them over," he bent over in illustration "and they feel something… Vat? OH!" he exclaims as he goes wide eyed and acts like he was just rammed.

We were all rolling with laughter, I had tears in my eyes. That was the greatest thing EVER. My manager said he was going to steal that material and tell others, I said I was going to share it too. I came home and told my sister. She didn't get it, I had to explain everything to her including that Johnny was joking about it actually being German. She got absolutely none of it. That really ruins jokes when you have to explain the whole thing.

Long time no update. Not much has changed to be honest. I'm stronger, healthier and doing better though. Weight is continuing to melt off me… I went into the hospital at 170 pounds and now weigh 135. My doctor, however, says I could stand to loose some more. With my diet? Not a problem, just won't get any muscle mass because I can't eat enough protein to build em. I was in a size 12/14 pants, I just got a size 8 today. I went down a cup size in bras too, oh lord is an oversized bra annoying!

I just fit into a pair of pants my little sister discarded because she says they were too loose on her. She's a scrawny thing, it kinda feels good but at the same time worries me. How much more will I loose? My work clothes are falling off me, I look like a doof in them. As soon as they order some small shirts I can trade in my large. Large to small! Holy cow! Work pants I've been getting when I go shopping, it depends on the brand and style as to what size I can wear. I have a 10, a 10 petite and now the 8 I got today. My new jeans? Yeah, some of those are now too big on me, it's irritating. I also got some tank tops, I haven't worn a tank since before I had need to wear a bra. I'm feeling more confident and to see the shirts that used to be tight on me now look like bed spreads when I wear them... It's insane. I need a whole new wardrobe. Like I said, it feels good but at the same time it's annoying and expensive.

More people are noticing how I'm dropping pounds, I can't tell you how many people go from smiling about the compliment and asking how I'm doing it/my secret to being sympathetic and telling me I'm in their prayers when I tell them it's because of kidney disease. I feel fine, though. Some coworkers were worried, they said usually when someone loses weight like I do they get sickly looking and fatigued. Yes, I do get tired easier but not horribly so, that was when I first got out of the hospital. I'm hungry a lot, I eat so little after all. I look better, my eyes aren't puffy anymore. I have cheekbones now too and can see the outline of my collarbone. My fingers look frail though and my wrists sort of…boney. My legs swell a little but nothing compared to what they used to and the swelling goes down by morning.

My blood pressure is doing great, that medicine I used to take every six hours (four time a day) has been cut down to twice a day and less of a dose each time. So the side effects it caused are going away. But… I've been getting dizzy spells quite often now. If I stand too fast or turn too fast there's a 50/50 chance I'm going to wind up with that spinning sensation. I need to bring this up to my doc when I visit her in September. Otherwise I seem to be just fine, I still miss those food items I love so much (Dr. Pepper, cheese, chocolate, pizza, pasta, potatoes, cookies, cake, granola, milk) I have some every now and then, mainly granola. Actually I've been eating that and multi-grains (bad for me, how funny) more than I should. I bet it'll show up in the lab work I had done today.

I'm taking this one day at a time, all I can do. I still have people trying to steal food from me when I treat myself to something I'm not supposed to have. That aggravates me to no end, someone is going to get stabbed with a fork if they're not careful. It's a treat! I don't get it often at once every few months, you trying doing without things you love and see how it feels.

SOUL-LESS BLACK HOLE EYES!

Yeah, I just went to the eye doctor again and had them dialated. Been like, what, every month this year, two in January! My eyes continue to get better, my left eye is back to normal. Or as normal as it can be with the whole nearsightedness. But the high blood pressure damage has healed. It has vastly improved in the right as well, much to my surprise. I had figured the "cotton fuzz" would stay there like he originally said. But he tells me today it continues to improve. I guess that's true, my blind spots keeps shrinking. I'm hopeful to have my vision back to what it was before this mess.

My thyroid problems should eventually clear up as well. Pity the blood pressure and renal failure won't...

And holy cow, I keep losing weight! At this rate I will need a completely new wardrobe, underwear included. It's so damned annoying to be honest. I'm getting lost in all my clothing, I liked my shirts big before but now it looks rediculous. Loose pants are terrible, I have to tighten the belt so much it causes them to bunch uncomfortably. And now I'm eating even less than I was because my phosphorus levels were dangerously elevated last time I had bloodwork done. I'm terrified to eat things not listed now, there's no fruit or veggies even listed and the doc said it must be one of them getting me. Looked it up online and it seems corn, bread (knew I was eating too much of that) and sesame seeds (like on burger buns) are what's getting me. So... I cut those things out, the meat could be doing it as well so I guess I'm going to just have to eat only three ounces a day, one for each meal.

Some of my bills are getting paid off too. I'm so much healthier now, feel better than I have in a long time to be honest. I keep having people compliment me on my weight loss too, it feels good but it embarasses me as well to see them look me over several times. I needed to lose the weight but it's sad it came at such a high price. I'm down to 139 now, I was at 160-170 when I went into the hospital. Major change all without being physically active.

I'm still trying to adjust to all of this, some days it's easier than others. Sometimes I'm just so tired of it all and other days I could care less. The thought of living this way the rest of my life saddens me but I did it to myself, there's no one else to blame.

Ah, what a year this one has been so far.

January - Wallet and ID stolen
February - Hospital stay
March - An annoyance gets out of jail and comes back
April - Things at work start changing
May - Things at work turn upside down with the complete change of management.

May keeps getting better! That was sarcasm, by the way. Text cannot express that clear enough.

Anyway, there is now a sexual harassment suit at work, I am at the center as is two other coworkers. One made the call, the other is the one facing the charges. I did not consent to the other making the call but she did and dragged me in too. I thought she was calling about her assault instance in which coworker number three waved his fist in her face and said "Imma knock you flat on your ass." Rather than my issues. Get this, coworker number three is that annoyance that got out of jail and came back in March. Lovely, huh?

He's been harassing me regularly asking me repeatedly if I was the one that called on him. I said no, he doesn't believe me or at least thinks I'm holding back on who did call. None of his damned business. But he's a dimwit anyway, when he got the call (and visit from a police officer) about the charges he was given the names of both accusers. If he can't figure out who it was then damn. In any event he's been asking everyone I talk to and joke around with at work if they could get the info out of me and pass it to him. Naturally they tell me he's done this. I took it to management the other day and they pulled him aside to tell him he's only digging himself in deeper.

So, this coworker is threatening court now on myself and coworker number two. He swears he's done nothing wrong, never said anything sexual to me and doesn't sling threats of violence around at others.

Excuse you? You've threatened to beat someone up if they didn't quit telling you to shut up. You invited another female coworker to fight and raised your fists at her, there was the coworker that made the call on you, there are the countless times you've approached others with fists raised. And he talks all the time of not being afraid to throw punches when others get annoying. Really? You've done nothing violent?

As for the sexual harassment, just because you haven't been lewd doesn't mean you haven't done anything wrong.
Number one: You got a hold of my paycheck stub and found my HOME ADDRESS and then SHOWED UP AT MY FRONT DOOR UNINVITED.
Number two: You insist on trying to buy me gifts when I repeatedly say no, I don't want them. Then get mad and tell me "Don't argue with me. You're getting it."
Number three: You tried to take my hospital bills from me to pay them, when I refused you slipped me money then got mad when I gave it back.
Number four: You follow me everywhere I go at work like my shadow, you stand close enough for me to feel you breathing on me.
Number five: You ask me to join you in back rooms and in corners to talk about things you don't want others to hear and get frustrated with me when I refuse to go.
Number six: You kept trying to get me to go see a movie with you and accept a ring. When I refused to answer on either you gave me an ultimatum. Go to the movies with you for one date or accept the ring. On that movie thing, yeah, you freaked me out when you said "I'll even be the perfect gentleman and keep my hands to myself."
Number seven: When I was on lunch break you would stop doing your job on the other side of the dining room to eavesdrop on my conversations with others.
Number eight: When you stand close enough that I can feel you breathing on me, that's too goddamned close.
Number nine: When you came back from jail you asked Cristina to give you my days off so you could visit me at home. When she refused you went to Mr. Birkelbach and he gave them to you.
Number ten: You kept harassing me through snail mail when you were in jail, begging for correspondence and telling me how much you missed me and wanted to talk to me. Though, to my own fault I actually wrote you back. And now that's your excuse for EVERYTHING whenever someone tells you to leave me alone. "But she wrote me when I was in jail."
Number eleven: You're nosey. I don't need to tell you every detail of my life, I don't need to tell you why I didn't answer the door when you came by last. I don't need to tell you who I'm going out with.
Number twelve: You don't need to remind me for an hour that I have to take my medicine in forty minutes, thirty minutes, twenty minutes and so forth. And when the hour hits you don't have to make sure I took it. I was doing fine before you got out of jail, and I wasn't trying to be funny when I said "Well obviously I'm doing it right because I'm not dead yet."
Number thirteen: You talked to coworkers and customers about what you were trying to do for me and how I refused it. YOU SOUND LIKE A STALKER!

I don't believe you'll take us to court. You don't have the money and I see now that you will never get your kids back. You are unfit, this should prove it to you but of course you don't see it as your fault. You never see anything as your fault.

And that sums up the suck for this year so far.

The fun at work just keeps on rolling in. I'm getting tired of the safe/money issues I bring up being ignored. It's like, I don't know what I'm talking about. But I'm not the one having the issues with counting the safe/drawers to a certain number. But when we do drawer reports my name goes with them so at night the cash overages/shortages are my fault. So in the eyes of corporate I am a dumbass and should not be cashiering. Now, I haven't lost my job or been reassigned, this is just my fear. I doubt the guys paying attention to this are going to think "They just had a management change at this unit, that might have something to do with it." Rather they're going to go to the person responsible first, the cashier, and see if changes there fix it. Yeah, right. If Second Man could fucking count right things would get better.

Second Man is power trippin' too, see when he took Cristina's position it was a promotion for him. And he's bossing others around, talking to us like we don't know what we're doing and blah, blah, blah. I like it when I/someone else has already done something he tells us to way before he thinks of it. It's hilarious to see him nod and compliment us then walk off.

Sometimes Second Man is cool, sometimes though he frustrates the hell out of me. Others have already decided they hate him. He doesn't baby me near as much as he does others but he sure does try each time we reach a new issue, at least until I prove I can handle it just fine.

First Man has a bit of Cristina's sense of humor and Mr. Birkelbach's as well. It's kinda cool, but at the same time he's a totally different character. He's easy to get along with, I have no problem with him but others say he's too strict. Maybe because they're slackers, he's never had anything negative to say to me.

Well let's see, Sunday was Mother's Day and a good test run of how these guys will run with us through the hard as hell trials. They kinda failed. Lord, we had more people there than normal because those off on Sundays had to come in and help with the workload. Still we had trouble with breaks and people being forgotten, myself included.

At one point I asked management to cover the register for me because I had to potty. Esmeralda who was working the other computer also had to potty. I asked first, was told to give Second Man a minute to finish what he was doing then he'd be up to cover for me. I go back, ten minutes pass and nothing happens. Esmeralda asks him if she can go at that point, she gets the same reply. Ten more minutes pass and finally I got to bolt. Lord that was torment! I'm in there when Esme comes running in with her shirt un-tucked and even had her pants open, it was actually hilarious how fast she was moving. But we were both annoyed horribly at how easily we were forgotten on this issue.

Then we were forgotten for lunch breaks. How nice! It never got slow there, there were so many people all day! It usually slacks off at about 3pm but no! They just kept coming until about 7pm when it finally got slower, still not as slow as a normal Sunday though. My lunch was at 4pm and I was back by 5. More like a dinner, I was starving. I think Esme went maybe at 3:30 and was back at 4:30.

And now, today, we started something new at work. I'm off so I wasn't there to help things run smoother, I hope they didn't stress Esme out… Corporate decided we are so dead in the middle of the day that from Monday through Thursday each week we will close at 2:30 every afternoon and open back up at 4:30. That means everyone gets a break at the same time, after they clean up. But the poor cashier (me, Esme on my days off) will be left out because they need to be there to take money for the people already in the dining room when we close! Yay! I get to eat alone!

That reminds me, new management is WEIRD on breaking me… They have a habit of not doing a drawer report and changing the drawer out for someone else. I stay logged in and they run my drawer which means I don't clock out for lunch. So… this week I've been pulling ten hour days according to my timecard when I haven't. They said they would adjust my hours to give me that hour/hour and a half break depending on what I took but they haven't. I've already made 41 hours this week and there's one more day in the pay week to go through. They keep doing this management and myself will get in trouble with corporate. Don't do that to me! Cristina and Mr. B always had my back on the little overtime I would actually earn. I fucking remind these guys each night when they're checking hours that I never clocked out for lunch and how long I took but they blow me off and don't change it. I appreciate the extra money, really, but I don't like the risk it makes of me possibly losing my job. Then I won't have any money to use towards my mountain of hospital bills.

Irony of ironies. I now get to eat free at work because I'm the Unit Coordinator, they're surprised Mr. B and Cristina charged me for my food. I didn't mind, I didn't see myself as special. But anyway, the irony is I can't eat the food at work because of my kidney disease. See what I mean? It's fucking hilarious that I get a perk that is useless to me.

And this last part takes the cake. In February, while I was out from the hospital stay, they had put up signs at work saying we would stop taking checks come March 1st. Said signs continued to linger until middle of March, customers still managed to miss the ones on the door, at the register and in other locations around the restaurant. All the cashiers (the main two and the ones just there during breaks) had worked so hard to train customers that we no longer accepted checks. Hell, we still had people trying to use them because they're blind and dumb and missed the signs on the entrance doors, through last week. But yesterday Second Man decides we're taking checks again! He said it was stupid to deny them, we would lose more money from angry check whores than we would by accepting the occasional hot check. He even went so far as to call our previous GM, Mr. Birkelbach, and our previous Area Leader, Ed Davis, idiots for stopping the acceptance of checks. That made me mad, how dare he! He doesn't know either of these men! While I had issues and gripes with both of them, they are not idiots! Mr. Birkelbach knows more than Second Man ever will, Mr. B was the old style manager and he kept the store as close to the original way Luby's was run for as long as he could. Now we're just like the rest of them, faceless and uniform.

Yeah, I'm done for now. Blasted changes.

Second day with new management was better. Area Leader wasn't there for starters. Second Man (one who took Cristina's job) learned that yes, Sarah does know what she's talking about. See, Thursday he ignored my protests about turning in $80 worth of one dollar bills. I said we need them, I go through them fast. He said we had $400 worth of them coming in Friday so why hold onto those? Come Friday I used up $300 worth of ones, the next change order is not until Monday. I win.

He closed out the safe quicker too, showed him how to do it. Win again.

They're not bad guys, it's just that they're changing so much and people are worried their jobs are on the line so things are hectic now. Now that they're listening to me more, things are starting to smooth out a bit. I know the people at the store, I know how you have to approach some of them and I know where the information and files are they need for their jobs. Even got the printer working for them, we got a new one and they just didn't have it selected for use, duh.

I'm going to call Cristina tonight to see how she's doing and unload on her the crap from the first few days with these guys. I miss the sound of laughter in the kitchen and the guys singing. Maybe when they're more comfortable with the new managers it'll be cheerful again.

Things have just been turned upside down at work. Wednesday Mr. Birkelbach retired, almost 30 years with the company. And just yesterday they got rid of Cristina. We were mad enough when we found out she had been passed over for the promotion to GM but to kick her out?

And the new management knows nothing about the store! I spent yesterday telling them where things were and having them ask me questions about things I don't know. Cristina was there for a few hours before they ran her off, I kept saying they could ask her but no. Either they were afraid to or were too proud.

Doesn't matter anyway, we lost our Area Leader (Luby's term for district manager) and the new one is making so many changes. The store is no longer the same and I have people asking me now if their jobs are safe because that's three levels of management that have changed in two months.

And closing the safe... we close at 8pm, I didn't get out of there till nearly 10pm. I could have closed the safe, I know how! But they wouldn't let me, oh no. Can't touch that, not trustworthy enough. Can't be shown up by a woman! District Leader kept telling the one that took Cristina's spot to hurry up, it wasn't that hard. And he'd talk to management about things, ask them questions they couldn't answer, and would ignore me when I knew the answers. I'm not going to try, easy as that. If they wish to ignore me and pass off the help I can offer then so be it.

Management likes me, though. I'm a hard worker and smart and blah, blah, blah. Got a raise out of it, woo. Don't listen to me, however. Could prove I'm smarter if they would. But still we're short one computer user and it is killing me to run both. I hate running back and forth and customers get so angry! I can't be doing this, I'm still not fully recovered from my stay in the hospital!

That was the last thing Cristina said to me before she left. "Take care of yourself and watch your health. Don't you let them put you back in the hospital. You tell them you need help, don't let them do that to you again." The Area Leader doesn't much care, you can tell. And I was warned by others that he won't hesitate to turn on us if his boss says he's not doing things right. He'll play dumb, like he never knew it was wrong then come down on management. Nice. Real nice.

Already a lot of coworkers are talking about quitting. I'll give them a chance. But if they can't understand my health condition and don't work with me, that's it. I'm gone.

Insurance shopping is hard. At the moment I can't afford the bloody monthly premiums but I need to get a policy in action as soon as possible so it can kick in and help me in the future.

Granted this crap with me in the hospital will be my own worry but for future issues it would be helpful. Scott and White turned me down cuz I have kidney diease, how nice of you considering you are a health care facility as well as insurance company. Ah well, must keep searching. Aetna so far (which comes through work) looks like the best. I don't have to join some other organization and pay dues to it before I can get insurance. I'm going on only insurance providers that have my doctor in them so that kinda narrows my choices. And to top it off depending on which office my doctor is at the accepted insurance may be different, how strange and annoying.

This is some confusing stuff, the parents urge for a low deductile but the monthly payment is higher that way. I think with as often as I see my doc I could meet a $1000 one easily.

Anyway, enough about that. I beat the thrid Prince of Persia game oh, last week. I love the series, I was thrilled upon realizing the voice actor from the first returned to voice the Prince in the third, I liked him. I liked how in a way he regained some of the charm from the first game. And the ending with it's similarities to the ending of the first made me laugh. That was a good way to end it, I think. I do so look forward to more in the series but I wonder how they're going to handle it since the Sands of Time storyline is closed. Guess I'll just have to wait and see.

I'm either going to replay games in my library (geez, the legacy of Kain series is the only one I've played multiple times. All others I played once and picked up another game right after) or take a stab in the dark at another series. Or maybe I'm just going to save up for a PS3 and some games for it. That will take me a while, these damned bills come first.

So I had another doctor's appointment today. She went over my test results from the last one and I do believe I'm correct in my guess that due to my inability to bathe in the hospital and the fact I was menstrual, it tainted every last urine sample they got from me. Because she said my latest tests showed an improvement over something, something that otherwise should not have been better. It was in relation to my kidney function itself because, sadly, kidneys don't heal. How funny.

She also prescribed me another medication for my blood pressure. It's still bouncing around too much. Bah! Annnnd, she said my heart beats too slow. Huh? This is an amusing concept to me, a slow heartbeat with high blood pressure. My poor heart must be pumping harder so it can pump slower, or something. I don't know. But apparently it's related to the medication I have to take every six hours. She said maybe with the addition of this fifth blood pressure medicine I can start to wean myself of the other and drop it down to less often and smaller doses. I will be happy if I don't have to stay up till midnight to take one dose and get up at six for the next.

I also got landed with a bill relating to her services when I was in the hospital. It's for about $350 and at the bottom says it's overdue. Well don't penalize me for it if you just now gave it to me! I went in today and after I signed in the desk clerk gave it to me saying it came from the billing office. The treatment date, final one, in the hospital was February 4, here it is April 14 and I'm just now getting it and they have the nerve to tell me its over due? I need to call about it tomorrow and if there are late fees get rid of them since it’s not my fault.

Quick work related news: It's just like old times! Sarah comes back to more hours and she gets all the work and responsibility back that she had before that she wasn't supposed to have to begin with since she's not management or a supervisor! And co-workers are so thrilled I'm back because their jobs just got easier. There were five of you doing what I did! Lord have mercy, and you think it was hard having one fifth of my work? That place would go to hell without me, I used to feel like I was being arrogant about it but I know better now.

That's about it, really. Whee.

Last week I got a call from my nephrologist, I have thyroid problems on top of the kidney and high blood pressure. Yay! Started the medication and stuff. I'm on so many pills, ugh.

Anyway, finished Prince of Persia: Warrior Within, it felt short but maybe that's just me. Shit got done like he wanted, kinda, and he was free. Then it gave a glimpse at The Two Thrones and stuff went to hell. Again. I started that game and apparently the alternate ending in Warrior Within (the one you have to do extra stuff to get, I don't know what it is myself yet) must be the one used for the Two Thrones to even be possible. Because the start of that game hinges on the ending I got in the last never happening.

The Two Thrones seems to have gone back to the music roots from the first one, good. It fits better. The second one had some fitting music but they really liked to put that rock sound in there which while nice, wasn't quite fitting for the time frame the game comes from.

Heh, had the AC unit checked out yesterday and the repair man was watching me play. He had never heard of Prince of Persia but said it reminded him of God of War and was interested. It does remind me of God of War at times, and a bit of Soul Reaver/Legacy of Kain in vague ways. Mainly the time travel and paradoxes and rewriting history/altering the timeline.

All in all, I'm really enjoying the series. I'm going to try and find another action/adventure game series to tackle next. I love that genre best, even if I do spend long minutes streaming curses at the game when I reach a particularly nasty area of INSTANT DEATH.

On a side note, I'm slowly adding more hours back to work. They're so goddamned anxious to get me back on full time. The work I did is being spread out among about five people. Five! To do what I did and they're complaining. Understand now what I've been through, guys? I'm never going to let it be that way again, it was too much for me.

I had an eye doctor appointment yesterday, with the guy that originally sent me to the ER for my blood pressure. My first visit left a bad impression of him on me, he was snippy, rude and rather blunt.

I didn't recognize him yesterday. He was much, much nicer and polite as well as looked better groomed. The first visit he told me most of my "fuzzies" would clear up. That would be the bleeding in my eyes and how they blocked vision, but there would be at least two spots in my right eye that would never heal. Now he says I might be lucky enough to get rid of all the blind spots and my vision will once again be normal.

Relatively speaking, of course. The blind spots would be gone but I'm still near sighted with an astigmatism. I go back in June to see how it is and we'll see if my right eye clears up any more. My vision is already vastly better than it was when I was admitted to the hospital, those blind spots are annoying but not dibilitating like they were in January.

I still haven't gotten the lab results from my visit to the nephrologist. I take it that I'm ok if they haven't contacted me, my mother says to call them right now and get the results because they don't care. I want to know but in a way I don't, still a bit nervous. I'm hoping they'll send something through the mail like the other one did.

I've added one full day of work to my week, it wore me out big time. But I can handle it, don't think I can do it other days yet though. Not until I get used to this one full day. I'm in need of the money so... I need to be full time for that but I can't handle it yet. Blast this weakness! I will overcome it, just a bit of a battle.